Jessica blog post number 2

I am sitting here in my bright blue salwar kameez, trying to choose a topic for this blog post. It is hard to pick only one thing to write about!

One of the most interesting things about being here and interacting with the Indian students is hearing their views on marriage, and how their plans for marriage influence their future job paths.

Yesterday, I asked a student if she is in an arranged marriage. She said that her parents currently do not have any plans for her, but she told me that she really wants an arranged marriage.
Just now, on the bus ride over here, I spoke with a student named Kirubha. She is 22, and she said that when she is 23 her parents will find a husband for her. The best thing about arranged marriage, according to Kirubha, is the family support that comes along with it. She said that if she decided on a love marriage and was unhappy with it, her family would have an "I told you so" attitude. With an arranged marriage, however, both her family and her in-laws will support her and her husband and do as much as they can to make them happy together.

Kirubha also told me that she will have a say in who she marries, and can easily reject a man that her parents choose for her. Once her parents find a man with an adequate job, status, caste, religion, and zodiac sign, she will have about 2-3 months to "mingle" with him and get to know him better. She said that future husbands and wives only hold hands prior to marriage--nothing else. This is all very different from the marriage process in America.

From my American perspective, it is difficult to understand why women would actually prefer arranged marriages. I think that since India has such a high in-group collective context with such a large focus on family support, it makes sense for the future brides to want to marry someone who is deemed acceptable by their parents.


The trip has been great so far, I've been having a blast. I'm looking forward to the activities planned later on in the day!
Bye!